Saturday, October 4, 2008

I'm broken

after all the things happened to me and ehdz i just found myself BROKEN!!! actually, almost 28 days lang kaming naging masaya sa isang relasyong ni hindi ko alam kung anong tawag. 28 days akong naging masaya at 28 days din akong umasa. akala ko kasi yun na yung perfect moment ko... but i was wrong!! syempre i was hurt!! or should i say BADLY and TOTALLY HURT!! ikaw ng lokohin at paasahin hindi ka masasaktan?!

almost every night i cried myself to sleep. i cant help it and i cant stop myself from hurting!! araw araw mas nadodoble yung saket.. pag nakikita ko sya.. pag nakikita ko sila.. but what should i do?? isang lugar lang ang iniikutan naming tatlo.. pare-parehong tao lang ang nakakasama naming tatlo.. masakit to the point na sobrang liit na ng tingin ko sa sarili ko! masakit kasi lumalabas na parang ang tanga tanga ko! sobrang saket but i have to face the consequence of being a loser... OO! talunan ako pero di yun dun magtatapos..

dumating yung time na napagod ako.. sabi ko ayoko na umiyak.. taktak na luha ko! but how can i let go of those pains in my heart??? at first umiwas ako, pero kahit anong gawin ko masyadong maliit yung lugar na yun for the three of us.. then i said to myself., "baket ba ko umiiwas kung pwede ko naman silang harapin diba!" it was a very hard decision na i-set aside ang pride ko at i-reverse phsycology ang sarili ko.. too risky.. but i did!! instead of hiding away from them i just go with the flow and start to play the game called "PRETENTION".

i cant imagine myself making friends with that girl and pretend to ehdz that what ever happened to us.. its all over now!! actually, ginawa ko lang yan para makita nilang strong ako! wala naman akong intensyong manggulo or manira, i just wanted to show them na ok lang ako! ewan ko bah! pero kahit pano nabawasan naman yung saket.. nasanay na din ako sa presense nila.. di na din issue saken kung sila na talaga in the end.. tinanggap ko na kasi na kung dun sya masaya, masaya na din ako...

after all those things ive been through, madaming nabago saken. i accepted the fact and i started to move on.. kaya lang that experience made my heart NUMB and made my life BROKEN!!

1 comment:

saul krisna said...

i'm sorry to hear that from you.. may kakosa na ako sa mga kadramahan ko sa blog... anyway i'm not feeling anybetter.. each day parang mas lumalala pa ako.. hayyyy