complicated

no doubt! steward is determined and willing to wait for me.. he showed his full interest on me! he proved his intentions and he took the risk of accepting the fact that after all he did, i could not give him an answer..

i know its hard on his part.. na maghintay sa isang bagay na walang kasiguraduhan! but im just being my self! ayokong maging unfair sa kanya at ayoko syang paniwalain na ready na ako for another relationship though i know for fact that i was not!!! siguro nga he helped me to recover from lots of pains ive been through pero di yun enough para mawala lahat yung saket! at kahit sabihin ko pang im already healed di din ganun kadali saken to came up with another relationship cause i am not ready for that.. at alam nya yun..

pero honestly hindi lang naman ako ang issue dito! hindi lang ako ang may komplikadong sitwasyon.. steward is a god person, ahead lang sya ng two years sa akin.. but at an early age he already had one daughter!! from the start alam ko na yun cause everybody told me! di naman big deal saken yun eh! it wasn't his fault! actually it was a blessing from god right? ang malabo lang saken is yung mother ng daughter nya... everybody says theyre not married, and theyre not together anymore.. yun din ang sabi nya saken! for whatever theyre reason was, it was not my business anyway. di ko na yun inalam pa coz hindi ko ugaling mang-ungkat ng personal matters ng kahit na sino.. honestly, being him as a young father was not a big deal for me.. i accepted him as who he is and i understand his situation.. ganun lang talaga ang life! di na natin mababago kung ano man ang nangyayari na sa kanya..

but though i understand his situation syempre isang factor pa din yun para ma-confused yung desire ko sa kanya.. its not about his daughter its about the mother! baka kasi may nasasaktan na palang iba sa mga ginagawa saken ni steward and i cant take that!! ayokong may nasasaktan na iba... gusto ko lang maging malinaw ang lahat coz yun naman ang dapat di ba?!.