looking back., almost five years na pala ang nagdaan!! ang bilis tumakbo ng araw.. parang kailan lang nung time na maxado akong nawindang with this one specific guy.. (lets call him ehdz) this was the time kasi when someone taught me how to love!! hindi xa ang first boyfriend ko pero sa kanya ko unang naramdaman yung sinasabi nilang "L-O-V-E".
as a trivia., neighbor po kame for the last ten years or more.. meaning to say "kababata" na ding maituturing diba?! and would you believe na he was one of those person i hate before?? just for a common reason, "mapresko kasi".. kaya nga natatawa ako everytime maririnig ko yung line na.. "the more you hate the more you love" medyo relate kasi lola mo eh! siguro namis-understood ko lang yung personality nya before kasi when i had the chance to get to know him better., lahat ng akala ko mali pala.. and that was also the time na yung inis na nafifeel ko sa kanya was replaced by admiration.. and from then on, i always wanted to see him.. but when he's around, i cant help myself but to feel nervous and shy!! nakakatawa nga eh! pero part lang yun ng kabataan ko and i know its normal right??
if i am not mistaken, second year highschool ako when he finally ask me if i can allow him to court me.. (haba ng hair ko nuh!) kaya lang i didnt grab the chance.. siguro napangunahan ako ng sobrang tuwa or siguro napangunahan din ako ng pangamba!! ewan ko bah! magulo utak ko nun eh! di kasi ako makagdecide that time.. di ko alam kung makakaya ko bang ihandle yung ganung sitwasyon if ever papasukin ko sya sa life ko.. i was just confused kaya nasayang din yung chance na maging kame.. haaay...
time has passed., pero yung feelings ko for him andun pa din at patuloy na nadedevelop.. though i dumped him wala namang nagbago sa treatment namin.. nice pa din xa and sweet!! until one day when i saw him walking with this one unknown girl.. bigla atang bumaliktad ang mundo ko!! obvious naman na they had a relation coz they are holding their hands.. ang masklap nun., dumaan pa sa harap koh!! what do you expect me to feel diba??? pero dahil umiral ang pride ko., hinayaan ko muna silang makadaan sa harap ko at take note i give them a great but false smile.. after that i was left hanging.. i dont know what to do.. kusa na ngang gumalaw ang mga paa ko at pinuntahan ang kwarto ko.. di ko na nga namalayan that i was crying na pala.. yeah right!! and i cant stop myself.. panu ba naman, yun ata ang first time na may iniyakan akong tao!! coz i was badly hurt...
after that situation, naging bitter ako!! iniwasan ko sya ng todo kasi everytime na nakikita ko sya, and everytime na patuloy pa din xang nagiging nice saken lalo lang akong nasasaktan thats why i focused myself in other things.. pero sadya nga atang mapaglaro ang tadhana.. kasi kahit anung iwas ang gawin ko pinagtatagpo pa din kame ng di sinasadya!! haay.. ewan ko bah!!
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